Call Center sa ‘Pinas
TSR: Ok, sir… do u have a PEN and a PENCIL ready?
Cust: What?!!
TSR: Oh, Im sorry, sir… Do u have a PEN and a BALLPEN ready?…
(klap! klap! klap!)
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TSR: Mam, please look at the back of your modem and check if you have the ethernet cord connected???…
Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with alabama accent)
TSR: Yung yellow cord, mheem…
(sige tagalog pah)
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TSR: Ok, let me help you… Please click on ’start’ and ‘run’…
Cust: Huh? Why do I have to run???…
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TSR: Now, I want you to CLICK the space bar please…
(… 1 or 2 clicks??? left or right???)
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CSR: …That’s E as in I-KOW… (echo)
(oki lang yan, Dong…)
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TSR: Ok, sir, this is ano… what you’ll do… you have to type the
ano… the command run and ano…
(tagalog pah!!!)
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Cust: So, do i have to wait for advice regarding the delivery?
CSR: Sir, the package has been delivered and all we have to do is wait POR FICK UP
schedule…
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CSR: …May I please speak with Mr. Mike Jones?
Contact: Oh, he’s deceased!!!…
CSR: Should I just call back for him then???
(…sure, as soon as he comes out of the ground and reports back to work…)
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CSR: I was hoping you can take this survey with me… Would you have the time to do that, sir?
Contact: How long is this gonna to take?
CSR: Mmm.. MGA three minutes…. (ay shyet!!!)
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CSR: …I’d like to speak with Billy Thompson please???
Contact: He’s not in. Would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?
CSR: Sure, SIGE… (ay shyet, ulet!!!)
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local client kaya mostly pinoy and callers, usually from visayas…
Cust: hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin???…
CSR: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
Cust:Hende naman…
CSR: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Cust: Ang alen?
CSR: ..Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Cust: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
CSR: Di ba wala pong ring?
Cust: Hende! yong BELL!.. yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!!…
CSR: aahhh… yung BILL?!!!
(hende kase nagve-verefie mabote… tsk, tsk, tsk…)
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TS: Ok, sir… Could you please drag the icon UPSTAIRS?…(huwat???)
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Cust (US): So how’s the weather there?
CSR: Well… it’s kinda cloudy today, sir…
Cust: Oh really?!!!… So where are you located?
CSR: Sir, your call has been re-routed in ORTIGAS!!!…
(tama!!!!!!)
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TSR:May I have your service tag pls? (it’s like aserial/case # for an appliance)
Cust: Where is the service tag located?
TSR: Ma’am, the service tag is located in Roundrock, Texas…
(WHOA!!!)
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CSR: …I’m looking for Mr. John Brown???…
Contact: Uh… he’s not here…
CSR: Oh… HE’S NOT HERE?…
(ay shyet pa rin ba to???)
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Silent/Dead Air Call…
CSR: … If you are trying to speak to me, I cannot seem hear your voice. Please call us back again and I would have to HANG YOU UP…
(brutal naman…)
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TSR: Alright, we’re going to perform a checkdisk…that is for us to see if your hard drive has errors in it… please type in C-H-K-D-S-K…
Cust: What is that again?
TSR: C-H-K-D-S-K… that is… C as in Charlie… H as in Harley… K as in Karly… D as in Darley… S as in Sarley… and K asin Karly…
(gleng-gleng… bagong version…)
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Customer is waiting and on hold when suddenly…
CSR: Thank you for waiting! My name is *****!!!… Is that correct???
(KEREK!!!)