Forward This!

It’s a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: “What are you working on?”
Rabbit: “My thesis.”
Fox: “Hmm… What is it about?”
Rabbit: “Oh, I’m writing about how rabbits eat foxes.”
Fox: “That’s ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don’t eat foxes!”
Rabbit: “Come with me and I’ll show you!”

They both disappear into the rabbit’s burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: “What’s that you are writing?”
Rabbit: “I’m doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves.”
Wolf: “you don’t expect to get such rubbish published, do you?”
Rabbit: “No problem. Do you want to see why?”

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing. Finally a bear comes along and asks, “What are you doing?

Rabbit: “I’m doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears.”
Bear: “Well that’s absurd!
Rabbit: “Come into my home and I’ll show you”

As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

Moral:
IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS. WHAT MATTERS IS WHO YOU HAVE FOR A SUPERVISOR.

In the context of the working world:
IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU

It’s a fine sunny day in the forest, and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: “Do you know the time, because my watch is broken”
Lion: “Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you”
Fox: “Hmm. But it’s a very complicated mechanism, and your great claws will only destroy it even more”
Lion: “Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed”
Fox: “That’s ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches”
Lion: “Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed”

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: “Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken”
Lion: “Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you”
Wolf: “You don’t expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV”
Lion: “No problem. Do you want to try it?” The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene: Inside the lion’s cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral:
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.
In the context of the working world:
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED, LOOK AT THE WORK
OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).

After the test, the manager says, “You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day..

Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the MS manager replies, “Well, then, that means that you virtually don’t exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed.

Read more…

A Boss looking through his Mail Box was astonished to see a mail from an Employee who was supposed to be busy working at Client side on a critical project. It had the subject – “TaTa – Bye Bye”. With the worst premonition he opened the mail and read the content with trembling hands:

Dear Sir,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you, but I’m leaving the job. The offer was too lucrative and attractive for me to turn down. I had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with the HR and you. I am sorry but I had no choice.

Read more…

“ano? yan lang di mo pa kayang gawin at iuutos mo pa sa akin? “

“hello! gawin mo na iyan noh para naman huwag mong makalimutan kung paano mag-isip. Nakakatakot baka kinakalawang na pala utak mo dahil hindi nagagamit.”

“boss, makinig ka kaya sa akin!”

“puwede ba, busy ako? “

“make your own f–ing letters and presentations.”

Read more…