Forward This!

A man went to a barber shop to have his hair cut as usual. He started to have a good conversation with the barber who was cutting his hair. They talked about many things and various subjects. Suddenly, they touched the subject of God.
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The barber said, “Look man, I don’t believe that God exists!”

“Why do you say that?” asked the man. “Well, it’s so easy, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God does not exist. Tell me, if God existed, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be no suffering nor pain? I can’t think of loving a God who permits all of these things.”
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The man thought for the moment, but he didn’t want to respond so as to cause an argument. The barber finished his job and the man went out of the shop. Just after heleft the barber shop he saw a man in the street with long hair and beard. It seemed that it had been a long time since he had his hair cut and he looked so untidy.
Then the first man again entered the barber shop and he said to the barber: “You know what? Barbers do not exist!”

“How can you say they don’t exist?” asked the barber. I am here and I am a barber.”

“No!” the man exclaimed. “You don’t exist because if you did there would be no people with long hair and beard like that man who walks the streets.”

“But, I do exist, and that is what happens when people do not come to me.”

“Exactly!” – affirmed the man. “That’s the point. God does exist, and see what happens when so many people don’t go to Him and do not look for Him? That’s why there’s so much pain and suffering in the world.”

Once upon a time, there was a general who was leading his army into battle against an enemy ten times the size of his own. Along the way to the battle field, the troops stopped by a small temple to pray for victory.

The general held up a coin and told his troops, “I am going to implore the gods to help us crush our enemy. If this coin lands with the heads on top, we’ll win. If it’s tails, we’ll lose. Our fate is in the hands of the gods. Let’s pray wholeheartedly.”

After a short prayer, the general tossed the coin. It landed with the heads on top. The troops were overjoyed and went into the battle with high siprit.

Just as predicted, the smaller army won the battle. The soldiers were exalted, “It’s good to have the gods on our side! No one can change what they have determined.”

“Really?” The general show them the coin–both sides of it were heads.

Somewhere in Milaor, Camarines Sur, there lived a fourth grader boy who would follow this route to school everyday: He has to cross the rugged plains and cross the dangerous highway where vehicles are recklessly driving to and from.

Once past this highway, the boy would take a short cut, passing by the Church every morning just to say Hi to God, and faithfully say his, “Magandang umaga po” in Bicol dialect. He was faithfully being watched by a Priest who was happy to find innocence so uplifting in the morning, “Kamusta, Andoy? Papasok ka na?”

“Opo padre … “he would flash his innocent grin, the priest would be touched. He was so concerned that one day he talked to Andoy.

“From school…”, he advised “Do not cross the highway, you can pass through the Church and I can accompany you to the other side of the road…that way I can see that you are home safe….”

“Thank you father…”

“Why don’t you go home … why do you stay in this church right after school?”

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Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling heaven.

For English press 1

For Spanish press 2

For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for request

Press 2 for thanksgiving

Press 3 for complaints

Press 4 for all others

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Important Theological Questions that are Answered If we Think of God as a Computer Programmer.

Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life?
A: He could if he used the debugger, but it’s tedious to step through all those variables.

Q: Why does God allow evil to happen?
A: God thought He eliminated evil in one of the earlier versions.

Q: Does God know everything?
A: He likes to think so, but He is often amazed to find out what goes on in the daemon scripts.

Q: What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs?
A: If a critical error occurs, the system pages Him automatically and He logs on from home to try to bring it up. Otherwise things can wait until tomorrow.

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