The Littel Guy

Author: DarkBlak  //  Category: Jokes, Life

A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, ‘What’cha gonna do about it?’

The poor little guy starts crying.

‘Come on man I was just giving you a hard time,’ the biker says. ‘I didn’t think you’d CRY.’ ‘I can’t stand to see a man crying.

“This is the worst day of my life,” says the little guy between sobs. “I can’t do anything right.” “I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me.”

When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don’t have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener and my dog bit me.

So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison.

FAITH, HOPE AND TRUST

Author: DarkBlak  //  Category: Religious

One day, the villagers decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer, everyone gathered but only one boy came with an umbrella.

That is FAITH!..

When you throw a little kid in the air, he/she laughs because he/she knows you will catch him/her.

That is TRUST!..

Every night when we go to bed, We’re not sure if we’ll ever get up tomorrow, but we still plan for the coming days.

That is HOPE!..
Have FAITH and TRUST in GOD, and never lose HOPE!

Love Quotes Series #2

Author: DarkBlak  //  Category: Love quotes, Quotes

Some of the greater things in life are unseen thats why you close your eyes when you kiss, cry, or dream…

Love is sharing thoughts and togetherness in harmony.

Learn to love yourself more then they do becuase they wont feel the pain when they leave you

MOVE ON. it’s easy to say but hard to do.

Love is the best medicine, and there is more than enough to go around once you open your heart.

You’ll discover that real love is millions of miles past falling in love with anyone or anything. When you make that one effort to feel compassion instead of blame or self-blame, the heart opens again and continues opening.

Love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you.

Love is not automatic. It takes conscious practice and awareness, just like playing the piano or golf. However, you have ample opportunities to practice. Everyone you meet can be your practice session.

Love isn’t just for the smart of talented, but for all the amimals God created.

There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.

Getting Laid

Author: DarkBlak  //  Category: Jokes, Naugthy

Joe took his blind date to the carnival.
“What would you like to do first, Kim?” asked Joe.
“I want to get weighed,” she said.
They ambled over to the weight guesser.
He guessed 120 pounds.
She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

Next the couple went on the ferris wheel.
When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.
“I want to get weighed,” she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went.
Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight,
and Joe lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next.
“I want to get weighed,” she responded.
By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early,
dropping her off with a handshake.

Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, “How’d it go?”

Kim responded, “Oh, Waura, it was wousy.”

Are you Jesus?

Author: DarkBlak  //  Category: Inspiring, Religious

A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago . They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night’s dinner. In their rush, with tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over a table which held a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time for their nearly missed boarding.

ALL BUT ONE !!! He paused, took a deep breath, got in touch with his feelings, and experienced a twinge of compassion for the girl whose apple stand had been overturned.

He told his buddies to go on without him, waved good-bye, told one of them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and explain his taking a later flight. Then he returned to the terminal where the apples were all over the terminal floor.

He was glad he did.

The 16-year-old girl was totally blind! She was softly crying, tears running down her cheeks in frustration, and at the same time helplessly groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her, no one stopping and no one to care for her plight.

The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put them back on the table and helped organize her display As he did this, he noticed that many of them had become battered and bruised; these he set aside in another basket.

When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl, ‘Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?’ She nodded through her tears.. He continued on with, ‘I hope we didn’t spoil your day too badly.’

As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called out to him, ‘Mister. …’ He paused and turned to look back into those blind eyes. She continued, ‘Are you Jesus?’

He stopped in mid-stride, and he wondered. Then slowly he made his way to catch the later flight with that question burning and bouncing about in his soul: ‘Are you Jesus?’ Do people mistake you for Jesus? That’s our destiny, is it not? To be so much like Jesus that people cannot tell the difference as we live and interact with a world that is blind to His love, life and grace.

If we claim to know Him, we should live, walk and act as He would. Knowing Him is more than simply quoting Scripture and going to church. It’s actually living the Word as life unfolds day to day.

You are the apple of His eye even though we, too, have been bruised by a fall. He stopped what He was doing and picked you and me up on a hill called Calvary and paid in full for our damaged fruit.